Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Why Me ??

Sometime back while having tea-time chat with my friends, we were sharing our experiences in school/college with typical teachers/tutors. People who used be scare dreams for most of us. How they used to make our lives difficult then. I was thinking hard to find any such episodes in college. Being the class topper, I always had the lecturers to my favor. I remember all of them speaking good about me in every Parent's meet. In fact i used to be excited to take my father to college, just to make sure that he "hears" it from that I am one of the best students in college. Even though i used to be an active participant in most of the unlawful/forbidden tasks in college, the semester marks used to cover them for me!

This brings to my memory one person who was different from all others. I wonder how could i forget her. Episodes I had with her are printed scene by scene in my memory. It was Semester 4 for us. Being Mechanical Engg students, we never used to have regular classes. As good as we are not interested to sit in classes, even the lecturers were less interested in visiting the class rooms. We had Electrical Engg subject for the first hour. Since a month the semester classes have started, no one showed up and we used to rejoice the period as a leisure hour. That day, the same period everyone were dead busy scribbling on their record books..The next hour, we had some lab and as usual no one has completed the record notes. Being the single girl in my lab group I had the responsibility of completing the records and sharing it with my fellow lab mates. It never ends there, drawing graphs, machines and the list goes on. It is better to help the guys out, rather than hear stories that would make me feel "poor poor him". We heard someone step into the class. It was this madam - from Electrical Engineering Dept. At the very look of the class, she had a disturbing expression on her face. She spotted me seated in the middle row surrounded by some 10-12 guys. We all tried to settled down at the seats which were proximate. She introduced her self (i don't remember her name now) and opened the book to start with. While she was reading, as though something has distracted her - she asked us to rearrange our seating. She made the four girls sit in the front rows and the boys behind. We had the strange feeling as if it is some military school.I noticed in between that she was staring at me after every line she read through.

Every class of hers we used to get ourselves seated in the fashion she preferred. It used to be regular that she would pick me and ask questions. It can be anything and everything from electrical engineering. I used to try my best to think off and say the best answer I could and that would land up in another question. It used to be a Encyclopedia Ferrari session and every class she used to make sure that she will shout at me and make me feel insulted in front of my class. The humiliation i used to go through in her class was too much to take. My friends used to make all efforts to pep me up after her classes. I used to read through the topics which she has taught, and the ones she would teach the next day. All my efforts used to turn futile, when she start asking questions which make me thing, whether the topic is electrical or electronics!!

The torture was just not restricted to the classes, she used to come in my college bus. I will restrain myself from all the chit-chatting. I will be so much of a silent soul, that even a junior can rag me. The looks she used to throw at me were real paralyzing. When we get the exam papers, it used to remind me a battle field. All crosses and strikes with red ink through out my exam paper. Marks will be just to keep me delighted that i passed some how. I would have hated her more that i can explain anytime. My friends used to force me to talk to her and find out the reason for her hatred on me. I could never dream of attempting that as i knew it will aggravate the situation. The more i hated the teacher, the more i hated the subject as well. I was so damn determined that i will score the best of marks in the finals. I could score descent marks in the subject, which gave me freedom from all the tension i went through.

The semester was over, and so were her classes. I used to meet her at times in campus but payed no interest to greet her or talk to her. More than avoiding her I was scared of what she would tell me. It was almost the end of college. We went to meet all the teachers and tutors who had taught us in the college. When it came to the electrical section, I had double thoughts about talking to her. I was not sure of what i will be treated with. I did not want to leave the campus with the pain, as it had troubled me a lot once. I made up my mind for the worst, and decided not to retaliate even if she screams at me. That day I could not meet her in college as she was on leave. I thought it was a never gonna end good, coz of which i could not even make peace with her before leaving the campus.

After my final exams I went to the college to collect my certificates. I was about to leave the campus and here she is. I saw her again and this time I am stuck right in front of her. There is no chance of running away. I greeted her and told her that i came to collect my certificates. Also mentioned her about my job at Infosys. To my surprise she embraced me and wished me all luck. I almost had my mouth wide open. I was here expecting the wildest curse or one liner dialogue, but this was magic. She could figure out from my expression that I am still not believing it. We spoke for almost an hour and she enquired all about me. Before leaving I asked for her blessing and she told me, " I never hated you, in fact i like you, i don't know why i was so angry on you every time!! " Even I could not interpret much from what she spoke, but i was relieved a lot. The thought that someone hated me a lot, kept haunting me every time. I have no hatred for her now and no anger within me. I could figure out that she was finding it hard to explain. I just told her - " That's Okay Mam". We parted with a smile. Never got a chance to meet her again, but if we meet once I am sure both of us will never fail to recognize each other. But always i have the question in my mind .... In the class of some 40 why me??

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