Complicated are people and relationships. Have been there in the mesh winding myself in and out, wishing things could be a lot simpler. Wish I could lie lesser, speaking the truth, not hurting anyone’s feelings. That is difficult, as you can’t take it putting the dear ones to worry. The best and rational decisions are been questioned, and taken the wrong way. You are blamed for acting insensitive and selfish. Is it deliberately that your feelings are being over stepped, as though you have a stone heart. Or it is an oversight, if that makes you feel better. I like being strong, practical and positive, but that is not turning me to a rude person.
The last year was a rough one with quite a few – with family and friends. Staying back in the US picking my career against my sister’s wedding – I am sure to have hurt many. But to my surprise, at the hour of being let down – my little sister was there for my support. I felt a lot proud to see her grow into sensible and poised individual. I never thought she can be there, as I have seen more of her vulnerable side before. The word-war with a close friend of mine, which resulted into a sick conversation and almost tore us apart. It just started on me being busy and not contacting her for long. It poked me when she blamed me for being selfish and work struck followed by the famous fight. I wished if she could understand, that I could not make it genuinely rather fishing for reasons and explanations.
How easy it would be to feel happy for the moment we have rather than rant around the missed past. I have seen some great individuals in life, who take life much simpler. You may say your views plain without polishing them. The word “No” is the most cursed I believe. As far as you cause no damages to people and property, a No for an answer is no harm. It is not the denial, but a humble view which demands respect and recognition. There was a time even I could not stand people being blunt and straight. Guess the growing up helped out, now as I can think through their reasons and be less painful.